Author Topic: Funny I woulda thought Klingons were neocons  (Read 1809 times)

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Mucho

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Funny I woulda thought Klingons were neocons
« on: December 24, 2006, 02:47:14 PM »
http://www.wweek.com/popup/print.php?index=5539

SHUT UP and VOTE!

your gateway drug to civic involvement

BY ZACH DUNDAS, WW EDITORIAL STAFF

Klingons 4 Kerry
IMAGE: TOM OLIVER

PUBLICIZE! If you have an event for next week's Battle Plan, email Sho Ikeda at sikeda@wweek.com or Elizabeth Schuster at eschuster@wweek.com.

 

Klingons for Kerry

EXCLUSIVE: Straw-poll shocker! Fierce warrior race strongly backs Democrat.

Even as John Kerry struggles to establish national-security credentials nationally, an exclusive WW straw poll shows his campaign dominating one skeptical, warlike demographic: Klingons.

The poll, conducted when the DVD release of the Star Trek fan documentary Trekkies 2 attracted Portland's Klingon community to Tower Records on Southeast 102nd Avenue, may spell trouble for President George W. Bush.

The incumbent has staked his campaign on the war on terror. But those who speak the language of the Trek warrior race--known to disdain dishonor, or quvHa'ghach--seem alienated by Iraq and other issues.

According to the poll of eight local Klingons, a whopping 75 percent support the Democratic nominee.

Two Klingons polled--or 25 percent--said they planned to write in Satan.

Bush scored an abysmal zero percent in the poll.

"A good war is based on honor, not deception," says K'tok (Earth name: Clyde Lewis), a 40-year-old Klingon from Lair Hill. "The first warrior, President Bush, deceived us all with this war."

Portland Klingon speakers are increasingly influential. Last year, Multnomah County's mental-health services opened a search for a Klingon interpreter to work with speakers of the language.* Though the Klingons polled all appeared to be registered voters, they emulate an unfamiliar political system.

"On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush," explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland. "Or the other way around. And then ascend to the head of the High Council."

It's too early for Kerry to chill the ceremonial bloodwine, but Portland Klingons are clearly warming to the cerebral Massachusetts Democrat.

"Kerry has shown his prowess," says 33-year-old Neqha (Earth name: Eric King) of Tigard. "He saved his fellow warrior under the gun, and has been commended and awarded medals."

Neither the Bush nor Kerry campaigns were immediately available for comment on the poll results.

--Dominic Luxford with Zach Dundas


R.R.

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Re: Funny I woulda thought Klingons were neocons
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2006, 03:25:32 PM »
Nerd.

Mucho

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Re: Funny I woulda thought Klingons were neocons
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2006, 03:29:41 PM »

Plane

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Re: Funny I woulda thought Klingons were neocons
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2006, 11:51:38 PM »
The Universal Translator Assistant Project


"I voted for it before I voted against it"


 jIH [voted] vaD 'oH qaSpa' jIH [voted] Daq 'oH

http://members.aol.com/jpklingon/uta/javauta.html

Xavier_Onassis

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Re: Funny I woulda thought Klingons were neocons
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2006, 09:13:07 AM »
jatlh pagh 'ej Sap Ilj Gaak! >:(
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

kimba1

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Re: Funny I woulda thought Klingons were neocons
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2006, 02:02:14 PM »
that`s just playing dirty.
I had my own ways to vote,but puting the trek factor is seriously gonna sway it.
their should be a law seprerating trek & state.
it`s not like I can think for myself if trek is involved
klapah!!!!!