First, I'd like to say that I do not agree with the notion that one must offer an alternative solution if one criticizes a thing. If a person doesn't like something, his opinion is not less valid if he doesn't have a alternative to suggest. One does not have to know how to fix something to recognize that it's broken.
Oh, my. That idea just won't fly in here.
You've listed some good ideas, some maybe not so good. Going after those who attack us and anyone who gives them aid and support, now that's a good idea. Actually, we were doing just that, going after Osama and Al Qaeda, and the Taliban who were giving them refuge in Afghanistan. Doing a pretty bang up job of it, too, until we got sidetracked into this Saddam/Iraq thing. We had a chance to finish things up in Afghanistan, then do some real good there, building schools, hospitals, showing the population we really were there to help out. Instead we went storming off on a fool's errand in Iraq, blew billions of dollars there that could have been better used elsewhere, gave the very terrorists we were out to destroy a great scenario they could use to recruit more and hone their skills against us, et cetera and so on. We pretty much wasted that opportunity.
Going after the families, well, that might not be so good. Ask the Israelis how that's worked out for them. Then you become the oppressor, and you give the populace reason to turn against you. We want the population on our side, to see that we are the good guys. Sure, we killed Joe Blow because he attacked us, and crushed anyone who supported him in planning his attack on us, or gave him the material or money he needed to attack us, or joined him in attacking us. People can understand that. But if we kill his family, or, like the Israelis, destroy their home and displace them, all we do is give more people reason to hate us. And the 'Rule of Ten' thing - what are you going to do, kill ten Iraqis for each of our troops that are killed, regardless of whether they had anything to do with it, or whether they were even anti-American at all? Seems to me you might want to set some more specific guidelines than just 'kill ten of them for every one of ours'.