I can't answer for everywhere , but I am old enough to remember when that was never called the "N" word and was used pretty casually.
Now it isn't worth the trouble , because it is trouble.
Paula Deen admitted to using the word years ago , and lost millions.
Is that ridiculous? In which way is it ridiculous? Too much or too little?
My parents never did use that word where I could hear it , nor "ain't" I think they trained themselves before they trained me.