<<I suppose you have a point then , that we are using suasion in some country's and force in others .>>
Here is my point. You use persuasion when you don't really give a shit, and you use force when you really, really NEED to have it your way.
"Democracy" is a don't-give-a-shit issue. If all you really wanted was democracy in Iraq, you'd do what you do in Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Uzbekistan, etc. No more, no less. You'd try to persuade them and you wouldn't push too hard. One thing you would NEVER do, and that is invade them, guns blazing, "Alright you bastards we TOLD you to be more democratic and now by God we're going to force you even if it means war. Even if thousands of us and hundreds of thousands of you have to die for it." THAT'S never happened and it never will happen.
My conclusion: the extent of your effort and the cost of it in Iraq is totally inconsistent with the way you've "spread democracy" everywhere else in the world. (I'm not counting WWII, becausae that's a case where you yourselves were attacked by undemocratic alliances and had a leadership in the persona of FDR and his associates who were clear-sighted enough to see the absolute menace posed to the world by fascism.) You "spread democracy" whenever you choose to do so, in a very low-key, low-cost way, and are satisfied with minimal to nonexistent rates of progress.
Therefore: whatever your objects in Iraq may be, they are definitely NOT connected to "spreading democracy" except in the most marginal and coincidental way.