Author Topic: BS Jobs: anyone have any of these?  (Read 2608 times)

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The_Professor

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« Last Edit: April 28, 2007, 10:12:49 PM by The_Professor »
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"Liberalism is a philosophy of consolation for western civilization as it commits suicide."
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Re: BS Jobs: anyone haveany of these?
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2007, 04:51:26 PM »
Oh, yeah?
Top this!
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station
103.2 on
FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience
contest.
Needless to say, she won.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I kno w you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma
with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at  the bottom of the sea. I wear a
suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece&n bsp;of equipment sucks
the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden rden hose,
which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,
and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take
the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all& nbsp;of a sudd en, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made
things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the
hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an  itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the
fact that he, along with five other divers, were all
laughing  hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my
brass helmet.&nbs p;

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I
got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I&n bsp;love
my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a
jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!  ;

________________________________________

MissusDe

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Re: BS Jobs: anyone haveany of these?
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2007, 04:53:38 PM »
I've never had any of those jobs, but I know of one job that I always thought was major BS.

I'm not even sure what these people are called....the ones who are hired to come in for a day-long workshop/seminar intended to either increase productivity, morale, teamwork, etc.  When I worked in education, we would have at least two of these a year, and they were universally loathed.  The teachers resented being pulled away from their classrooms (when you work in Alternative Education - we're talking the  juvenile delinquent-type population here  - you can guarantee that putting a sub with your students will result in chaos), and those of us who worked in Admin and other support positions resented the time lost away from the work piling up on our desks.

I never knew how much these facilitators got paid, or how they demonstrated a success rate for their efforts. It's difficult to measure the value of sitting in a conference room all day, doing meaningless 'ice-breaker' and role-playing activities, and listening to presentations by people who didn't understand the problems our teachers faced.  But to me, that's a good example of a BS job; a modern-day con that preys on an organization's desire to improve their performance.

Amianthus

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Re: BS Jobs: anyone haveany of these?
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2007, 05:03:08 PM »
Oh, yeah?
Top this!

From Snopes:

Quote
A diving outfit by the name of Global Industries does operate out of Louisiana.  They specialize in deepwater diving, underwater welding technology, and subsea completions. However, those knowledgeable about diving have pointed out that technical divers working in deep water wear dry suits (or even hot water suits for very deep dives), not wetsuits.  (A wetsuit is open and allows water to circulate between it and the diver's body.  A dry suit seals at the wrist and neck and prevents water from entering.) "Brian's" claim to have been wearing a wetsuit while engaged in a dive so deep that it required three "water stops" (slang for "in-water decompression stops") on the way back up to prevent the bends is therefore suspect. 
Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. (Benjamin Franklin)

kimba1

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Re: BS Jobs: anyone haveany of these?
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2007, 06:16:50 PM »
de
 their called coaches
depending what kind it`s either business or life coach
I was think of training to become one
it`s one of the highest paid non-skilled jobs around
it beat working for a living
they can get some serious income
quite afew get six figures.

Lanya

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Re: BS Jobs: anyone haveany of these?
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2007, 06:56:13 PM »
I think here those speakers are called Motivational Speakers.
I have a cousin-in-law that is one, and he is what my husband calls a BS artist.  But well paid!
We had them at inservices.  Not very useful.
Planned Parenthood is America’s most trusted provider of reproductive health care.

kimba1

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Re: BS Jobs: anyone haveany of these?
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2007, 07:17:42 PM »
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Foley

I think most do better than living a van down by the river

Xavier_Onassis

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Re: BS Jobs: anyone haveany of these?
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2007, 07:47:08 AM »
There are many crappier jobs than the jellyfish thing, which sounds rather bogus. Crappiness can be defined in two ways: the job itself is crappy (like when it involves getting a poisonous jellyfish crammed up your butt), and jobs that involve spewng crappiness on to others (like those motivational speakers who school boards hire to harass teachers with).

Most motivational speakers do not live in a van down by the river. The fictitious one played by Chris Farley was a doubly crappy job, but it was also bogus.

Picking up dead roadkill is always crappy. Cleaning up vomit is always unpleasant. There are many disgusting jobs involving sewers and blocked drains.
 
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."