I've been at my middle son's house all night playing Moods, Balderdash and Catch Phrase, intermittently watching Dick Clark (though I hate Ryan Seacrest) and drinking more than my limit of beer (Diet A & W Root, that is). So fo rme it's going to be a Nappy New Year (and not the British definition of that word)!
To everyone else who has been, perhaps, not as wild and sinful as I tonight (and those who were) a Happy 2008.
My predictions for 2008:
Mitt Romney gets the Republican nomination and in a surprise move, selects Barak Obama as his running mate in an attempt to create a bipartisan, interracial ticket. The entire rightwing Evangelical block immediately expires of a collective attack of apoplexy. Romney is unsuccessful in his attempt to get Oprah to make her December Book Club pick "The Book of Mormon."
Hillary Clinton attempts to counter this by inviting Condoleeza Rice to join her but withdraws the offer after hearing Bill Clinton humming the tune "Brown Sugar." She settles for Joe Lieberman, figuring he's close enough to a Republican.
Osama bin Laden is captured entering the United States after mistakenly thinking that Romney has called HIM to be running mate.
Early in the year, as the imminent Democratic landslide becomes apparent, Bush drops all pretense and renames Operation Iraqi Freedom "Haliburton presents Operation Iraqi Liberation (OIL)."
The Hillary-Lieberman ticket wins the election, after which Lieberman mysteriously "commits suicide" and Hillary appoints her husband, Bill, as Vice President (after first establishing that she gets first dibs on the interns).
After establishing the all-Clinton, all-the-time White House, Hillary abandons all pretense and renames the position of President of the United States "She Who Must Not Be Named" and redesignates her airplane "Air Force 666."
After Guiliani loses the nomination to Romney, the Patriots win the Superbowl and the Red Sox repeat as baseball champs, solidifying Boston as the sports dynasty city of the twenty first century. New York promptly sues Boston for Divine Right infringment.
Michael Moore and Al Gore announce a new jointly-produced documentary called "You People Will Buy Anything So Why Not?" suggesting that the Republicans actually were behind 9-11, Pearl Harbor, the sinking of the Maine, the assassination of Lincoln, the destruction of the Knights Templar and the Fall of Man. They are awarded a special new combined Oscar and Nobel Prize known as the "P.T.Barnum Achievement" award.
The Republican National Committee hastily announces the destruction of some "old records which no longer have any value as eviden . . . uh, historical documents."
Britney Spears gets in trouble with the law and it is reported as if it is actually news. (I might as well throw in one sure thing.)
Happy New Year to all!
