Author Topic: Man of Steel  (Read 984 times)

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Xavier_Onassis

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Man of Steel
« on: February 24, 2008, 06:48:25 PM »
From the 2007 Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest:

Clark Kent, in his alter ego known as Superman, the Man of Steel, huddled deep into the doorway to escape the pelting Spring shower, well knowing that wearing wet clothes for any length of time would give him surface rust, which he would have to remove by bathing in dilute phosphoric acid, and then sanding with 400-grit wet-and-dry sandpaper.

Roger Bond
Whittlesea, Victoria, Australia
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

Stray Pooch

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Re: Man of Steel
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2008, 06:50:49 PM »
So what is the Man of Steel's sweater made out of . . . .


Just let it go . . .
Oh, for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention . . .

Xavier_Onassis

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Re: Man of Steel
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2008, 07:24:15 PM »
IF the Man of Steel needed a sweater, it would have been crocheted on Krypton by his mother (the wife of Jor-El, whose name I forget) of steel wool. But it seems that Supie's red and blue attire, which was fashioned from his indestructible swaddling clothes by his adoptive mother, Mrs Clark, in Smallville, was enough to protect him from the elements here on Earth.

I cannot recall any comic in which his tight clothing was ever damaged by Kryptonite. The legend as I recall was that human clothing would have been insufficiently durable for Superman, and therefore he was forced to wear the same tricolored monotard for his entire life. It always seeemed to me that a baby's swaddling clothes would have proven insufficient to provide an adult-sized garment, as well as a cape and booties (or whatever you could call those things on Superman's feet).

Wonder Woman also has had to go through life with just one change of clothing. The bullet-repelling bracelets would have been surely a plus, but I question that WW would have been at all satisfied with just one change of duds. You could even see her clothes when she piloted her famous Invisible Airplane.

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."