No, I don't think those talking points are going to be much help to McCain. Here's probably what any sane, rational, normal human being would want to reply:
1. Mr. Obama is the most liberal senator in Washington.
We know, that's why we're voting for him.
2. Like other liberal presidents, he'd load the Supreme Court with the most liberal judges he could find.
Oh, YAY!!! No more Clarence Thomas'? No more Scalias? How much better can it get?
3. Like other liberal presidents, he'd spend tax dollars like they were going out of style--when the economy must have a steady, experienced, pork-hating hand at the wheel.
So you're suggesting that we should pick one of the same old gang who sat there for thirty years in the U.S. Senate, a former member of the Keating Five, who accomplished absolutely NOTHING while this country got into the mess it's now in and put HIM in charge now? Someone who'll put pork in its place - - in the military where it's always belonged? Thanks but no thanks.
4. Like other liberal senators, Mr. Obama was prepared to surrender to terrorists in Iraq.
Time to get out of Iraq. The "terrorists" only came to Iraq after the genius Bush, with the full support of that other genius, McCain, decided to invade Iraq because . . . uh, because . . uh, never mind, decided for some reason that made no sense to anyone but their neocon Zionist supporters to invade Iraq.
5. Like other liberal senators, he is the wrong man to protect your children against Russia, Iran, North Korea and al Qaeda in dangerous times.
And Martian invasions too. Don't forget Martian invasions. Maybe the best protection against people who have never attacked us yet is to stop pissing them off, and maybe the best protection against people who have attacked us is to stop pissing them off too.
6. I fought for responsible regulation of the mortgage merchants when the Democrats were against it. I don't just talk, I act.
I guess your leadership skills are pretty inadequate when after decades in the Senate, you weren't even able to convince your own party. Why should anyone vote for a loser like you?
7. My closest Senate colleague is a Democrat, Joe Lieberman. I don't just talk bipartisanship, I act.
Bipartisanship is the problem not the solution. Because of "bipartisan" ass-holes like you and Lieberman, we got ourselves a bipartisan war that is a fucking disaster, three trillion dollars, four thousand American lives, thirty thousand American wounded, hundreds of thousands of Iraqis dead and millions refugees, all for nothing. Take your "bipartisanship" and blow it out your ass. Please.
8. I picked Sarah Palin because our country needs young leaders who don't just talk; who act.
You picked a total fucking idiot, a bimbo barely able to memorize the talking points necessary to get her through a softball debate with a guy who was practically ordered to treat her with kid gloves and now if we were so unbelievably stupid as to vote you into office that cheerleader would be the commander in chief of our armed forces if your melanoma ever comes back for Round Four. At the same time as you passed over Condoleeza Rice, Mitt Romney and other leaders a hundred times more qualified. Thanks a lot, nimrod.
9. I'll do what I know is right, no matter what China or Germany or the U.N. thinks. You can't protect this nation by talking. You have to act.
That's what we're afraid of. Now we've seen HOW you act: "I'll cancel the debate. No I won't. I'll fire the head of the SEC. No I can't. I'll fire someone else who had nothing to do with it. The fundamentals of the economy are strong. We're in the worst crisis since WWII." And on and on and on. Please, Senator, just keep talking. DON'T ACT. Please.
10. Don't judge me as a politician or speech-maker. Judge me as a man who is more than talk. I would lay down my life for this country.
How about this, drama queen? Instead of laying down your 72-year-old life for your country, just lay down your insane political ambition and retire to your eight homes and billionaire blonde wife. Whatever made you think your wrinkled ass belonged in an Oval Office chair, forget it. Please. We need somebody in charge who is in touch with the real world, not some geezer who thinks the fundamentals of the economy are strong even as the roof is caving in over his head. Somebody who DOESN'T want to be in Iraq for the next hundred years. Get the picture? Vamoose! Scram!
