Incidentally, plane, the idea of Fidel owning Cuba reminds me of a joke about a businessman who was just as naive and gullible as you seem to be.
A businessman in Vegas for a conference is out walking one morning and sees a hooker coming towards him on the sidewalk. Although he has never messed around with hookers in his entire lifetime, this one is so gorgeous and sexy that he can't help himself. As they draw abreast of one another, their eyes lock and the guy just blurts out, "How much?"
"Well, the hooker says, a hand-job costs $500." The businessman is kind of taken aback. "Five hundred bucks for a hand job? You're beautiful and I mean no disrespect, but . . . "
"Look," the hooker says, "you see that Hard Rock Cafe across the street?"
"Yes."
"And about two blocks down on the same side, you see another Hard Rock Cafe?"
"Umm, yes."
"Well," the hooker says, I own both of them and also a third Hard Rock Cafe here in town. And the reason that I own them is, I give a hand-job that is worth $500."
The businessman can't resist. He and the hooker go up to his hotel room, and (long story short) he gets the best hand-job of his whole life, worth every bit of his $500.
So he's lying on the bed in his room and he asks the hooker, "So what's a blow-job? Fifteen hundred?" and the hooker replies, "No, it's $2500. But before you say anything, let me ask you this: Did you happen to notice, as we headed across the lobby to the elevators, the name of the casino here in your hotel?" The guy says, "Sure. It's Diamond Lil's." And the hooker asks him, "And who do you think is Diamond Lil?" The guy says, "You? You're Diamond Lil?" And the hooker says, "Yep. I'm Diamond Lil and I own that casino because I give a blow-job that's worth $2500."
What the hell, the guy figures it's once in his life, the hand-job was unbelievable, so he springs for the $2500 and gets his blow-job. Every bit as fantastic as promised. And afterwards, lying on his back on the bed, he says to the hooker, "I know I can't afford it but I have to ask anyway - - how much for a little pussy?" The hooker, standing by the window, just says to the guy, "C'mere" and beckons him to the window. "You see all those lights out there? You see all those hotels, those nightclubs, those theatres and concert halls?"
The guy can't believe it; he says to the hooker, "You . . . you own Las Vegas???"
And the hooker says, "No. But I would if I had a pussy."