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497
3DHS / Larry LaPrise dies at 93
« on: March 21, 2008, 02:24:11 PM »
Larry LaPrise Dead at 93
>
> With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it
> is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which
> almost went unnoticed last week.
>
> Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokie Pokey" died peacefully at
> the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him
> into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
>
>
> With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it
> is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which
> almost went unnoticed last week.
>
> Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokie Pokey" died peacefully at
> the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him
> into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
>
498
3DHS / Electoral Limerick
« on: March 11, 2008, 10:42:11 PM »
Regarding the coming election,
I have carefully weighed my selection,
Mrs. Clinton's too old
And McCain leaves me cold,
But Obama gives me an erection.
============================
I feel compelled to add this one:
If Dick Cheney were only astuter
He'd have steered clear of using that Scooter.
They are said to cause falls
That can injure one's balls
And might end up by leaving you neuter.
C
I have carefully weighed my selection,
Mrs. Clinton's too old
And McCain leaves me cold,
But Obama gives me an erection.
============================
I feel compelled to add this one:
If Dick Cheney were only astuter
He'd have steered clear of using that Scooter.
They are said to cause falls
That can injure one's balls
And might end up by leaving you neuter.
C
500
3DHS / Man of Steel
« on: February 24, 2008, 06:48:25 PM »
From the 2007 Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest:
Clark Kent, in his alter ego known as Superman, the Man of Steel, huddled deep into the doorway to escape the pelting Spring shower, well knowing that wearing wet clothes for any length of time would give him surface rust, which he would have to remove by bathing in dilute phosphoric acid, and then sanding with 400-grit wet-and-dry sandpaper.
Roger Bond
Whittlesea, Victoria, Australia
Clark Kent, in his alter ego known as Superman, the Man of Steel, huddled deep into the doorway to escape the pelting Spring shower, well knowing that wearing wet clothes for any length of time would give him surface rust, which he would have to remove by bathing in dilute phosphoric acid, and then sanding with 400-grit wet-and-dry sandpaper.
Roger Bond
Whittlesea, Victoria, Australia
502
3DHS / Romney withdraws
« on: February 07, 2008, 05:11:52 PM »
Apparently the Conservatives no longer require him as their hero.
Romney withdraws from White House race
Daniel Nasaw in Washington
Thursday February 7, 2008
Guardian Unlimited
Mitt Romney in Washington
Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney in Washington where he announced he was suspending his presidential campaign. Photograph: Steve Helber/AP
Mitt Romney today withdrew from the Republican presidential race today, effectively ceding the contest to frontrunner John McCain.
The former Massachusetts governor pulled out after losing considerable ground to McCain in the coast-to-coast Super Tuesday primary contests. He also failed to edge out ordained Baptist preacher Mike Huckabee in the socially conservative southern states.
Romney made the announcement in front of an influential conservative political group in Washington, saying that he was withdrawing because America was at war in Iraq and he would rather support McCain as nominee rather than make it easier for the Democratic nominee to win.
Article continues
"In this time of war I simply cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror," he told the Conservative Political Action Conference.
"Because I love America, in this time of war I feel I have to now stand aside for our party and for our country"
By leaving the race, Romney positions himself as a prime contender in 2012, should McCain lose the November general election or serve only one term, or beyond. He also takes the role of loyal party unifier, building good will among party leaders and the rank and file.
"He realises mathematically that it was almost impossible for him to win," said David E Johnson, a Republican strategist. "At this point, he's looking to the future."
The withdrawal calls Huckabee's role in the Republican race into question. The former Arkansas governor won five southern states on Tuesday and is third place in the delegate count behind McCain and Romney. Having failed to broaden his appeal beyond evangelical Christian voters, he faces a nearly impossible struggle if he continues to run.
Speculation has build in recent days that Huckabee has stayed in the race at McCain's behest in order to draw votes from Romney, with McCain pledging in return to help him retire campaign debt or run for another office.
A wealthy businessman, Romney spent millions from his own pocket to finance the race. He invested heavily in Iowa, the first contest, but took second place to Huckabee.
Romney also suffered disappointment in New Hampshire. Having governed neighbouring Massachusetts for four years and enjoying media exposure in the state, he lost when New Hampshire's independents turned out to support McCain. McCain had won the state in 2000 and remained popular there.
Romney went on to win contests in Wyoming and Michigan, but lost crucial Florida and South Carolina to McCain, further cementing McCain's position as Republican frontrunner ahead of Super Tuesday.
On Tuesday, McCain took an overwhelming lead in the delegate count, with 707 compared to 294 for Romney and 195 for Huckabee, according to an Associated Press tally.
Romney withdraws from White House race
Daniel Nasaw in Washington
Thursday February 7, 2008
Guardian Unlimited
Mitt Romney in Washington
Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney in Washington where he announced he was suspending his presidential campaign. Photograph: Steve Helber/AP
Mitt Romney today withdrew from the Republican presidential race today, effectively ceding the contest to frontrunner John McCain.
The former Massachusetts governor pulled out after losing considerable ground to McCain in the coast-to-coast Super Tuesday primary contests. He also failed to edge out ordained Baptist preacher Mike Huckabee in the socially conservative southern states.
Romney made the announcement in front of an influential conservative political group in Washington, saying that he was withdrawing because America was at war in Iraq and he would rather support McCain as nominee rather than make it easier for the Democratic nominee to win.
Article continues
"In this time of war I simply cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror," he told the Conservative Political Action Conference.
"Because I love America, in this time of war I feel I have to now stand aside for our party and for our country"
By leaving the race, Romney positions himself as a prime contender in 2012, should McCain lose the November general election or serve only one term, or beyond. He also takes the role of loyal party unifier, building good will among party leaders and the rank and file.
"He realises mathematically that it was almost impossible for him to win," said David E Johnson, a Republican strategist. "At this point, he's looking to the future."
The withdrawal calls Huckabee's role in the Republican race into question. The former Arkansas governor won five southern states on Tuesday and is third place in the delegate count behind McCain and Romney. Having failed to broaden his appeal beyond evangelical Christian voters, he faces a nearly impossible struggle if he continues to run.
Speculation has build in recent days that Huckabee has stayed in the race at McCain's behest in order to draw votes from Romney, with McCain pledging in return to help him retire campaign debt or run for another office.
A wealthy businessman, Romney spent millions from his own pocket to finance the race. He invested heavily in Iowa, the first contest, but took second place to Huckabee.
Romney also suffered disappointment in New Hampshire. Having governed neighbouring Massachusetts for four years and enjoying media exposure in the state, he lost when New Hampshire's independents turned out to support McCain. McCain had won the state in 2000 and remained popular there.
Romney went on to win contests in Wyoming and Michigan, but lost crucial Florida and South Carolina to McCain, further cementing McCain's position as Republican frontrunner ahead of Super Tuesday.
On Tuesday, McCain took an overwhelming lead in the delegate count, with 707 compared to 294 for Romney and 195 for Huckabee, according to an Associated Press tally.
503
3DHS / Dog explodes in Australia
« on: January 04, 2008, 01:37:07 PM »
The Northern Territory Government is confident it will not have any problems building a housing estate across the road from a crematorium in Darwin where a dead dog exploded on Wednesday night.
Police were called to the crematorium because of a strong red glow coming from the chimney.
Staff told the officers that the dog exploded because it had not been defrosted properly.
A nearby resident says it does happen occasionally.
Territory Planning Minister Delia Lawrie says the new houses will not be right next to the pet crematorium.
"Planning is underway, in terms of the actual placing of the residential zones, where the green belt zones will be and where the light industrial zones will be," she said.
"Certainly as Planning Minister I can assure people that the residential zones will not be adjacent to the pet crematorium."
=================================================================================
While I am elated that new residents will not be threatened by exploding dogs, I still have a few questions, to wit:
(1) Why was he dog in question frozen? Isn't Darwin tropical?
(2) How does an exploding dog cause a 'red glow' in a chimney?
(3) Was there a sound, or are there people in Darwin who have so much time on their hands that they spend their days with their eyes glued to a pet crematory chimney?
I find each of these questions more exciting than 'The War against Christmas'.
Police were called to the crematorium because of a strong red glow coming from the chimney.
Staff told the officers that the dog exploded because it had not been defrosted properly.
A nearby resident says it does happen occasionally.
Territory Planning Minister Delia Lawrie says the new houses will not be right next to the pet crematorium.
"Planning is underway, in terms of the actual placing of the residential zones, where the green belt zones will be and where the light industrial zones will be," she said.
"Certainly as Planning Minister I can assure people that the residential zones will not be adjacent to the pet crematorium."
=================================================================================
While I am elated that new residents will not be threatened by exploding dogs, I still have a few questions, to wit:
(1) Why was he dog in question frozen? Isn't Darwin tropical?
(2) How does an exploding dog cause a 'red glow' in a chimney?
(3) Was there a sound, or are there people in Darwin who have so much time on their hands that they spend their days with their eyes glued to a pet crematory chimney?
I find each of these questions more exciting than 'The War against Christmas'.
504
3DHS / About Pakistan
« on: December 31, 2007, 04:58:25 PM »
Pakistan is the sixth most populous nation on Earth, behind China, India, the US, Russia, Indonesia and Brazil,. with 165 million. It is the size of thre UK and France together and is divided into five ethnic groups: Punjabi, 44.7%, Pashtuns, 15.4%, Sindhis, 10.5%, Mujahirs, 7.6%. Balochis, 3.5%, and about 5% other. It is the second most populous Muslim nation after Indonesia, and has the second highest number of Shia's, 20% of the population. Average income puts it at 169th of 229 political entities, with a per capita income of $2,600 per year.
The people of the eastern part of the country, which is largely flat (the Indus valley) are Punjabis and Sindhis, which tend to be moderate. The country became more fundamentalist when General Zia Al Haq deposed Ali Bhutto and had him hanged, and cooperated with the US in a jihad in Afghanistan against the Russians. I suggest you check out the Wikipedia listing on Pakistan. I doubt that most of our media are really very knowledgeable about Pakistan.
It doesn't look like the US could actually invade Pakistan even if it wasn't fighting in two other countries as it is.
The people of the eastern part of the country, which is largely flat (the Indus valley) are Punjabis and Sindhis, which tend to be moderate. The country became more fundamentalist when General Zia Al Haq deposed Ali Bhutto and had him hanged, and cooperated with the US in a jihad in Afghanistan against the Russians. I suggest you check out the Wikipedia listing on Pakistan. I doubt that most of our media are really very knowledgeable about Pakistan.
It doesn't look like the US could actually invade Pakistan even if it wasn't fighting in two other countries as it is.
505
3DHS / The mysterious orient
« on: December 24, 2007, 07:59:34 PM »
http://www.thekimcheeblog.com/2007/11/30/i-have-a-bad-case-of-diarrhea/
Why the girls are wearing bras that state "Fraulein" and what all this has to do with a Skillful Abbot are, alas, unexplained.
Why the girls are wearing bras that state "Fraulein" and what all this has to do with a Skillful Abbot are, alas, unexplained.
506
3DHS / What are the odds?
« on: December 24, 2007, 04:09:42 PM »
I came across this on a gonzo website:
What are the odds there are people who would assassinate Ron Paul (or anyone they don't like) should they seem on the verge of becoming president?
Best-selling author and Bilderberg sleuth Daniel Estulin says he has
received information from sources inside the U.S. intelligence community
which suggests that people from the highest levels of the U.S.
government are considering an assassination attempt against Congressman
Ron Paul because they are threatened by his burgeoning popularity.
Estulin, whose information has unfortunately proven very accurate in the
past, went public with the bombshell news during an appearance on The
Alex Jones Show today.
"I am getting information from my sources that there are people involved
from a higher level of the American establishment who are seriously
considering - this has not been confirmed - but assassination is
definitely on the agenda and I pray to God that this is not the case,"
said Estulin.
Estulin, an award winning investigative journalist, said that he was
given the information from a source that has been reliable for over a
decade in providing accurate projections of future events based on what
the elite were discussing in their own circles and that assassination
was a serious option should the Ron Paul Revolution continue to pick up
steam.
Estulin, author of the global bestseller The True Story of the
Bilderberg Group described the concept as a "trial balloon from the
inner core within the inner core - it hasn't gone beyond that but it is
obviously on the table because I think needless to say they are very
much concerned," he added.
Ron Paul himself has stated on a previous occasion that he is aware of
the dangers of being such a bold icon for freedom and understands that
political assassinations have occured in the past.
In a June appearance on The Alex Jones Show, Congressman Paul
acknowledged that such a threat is "real," agreeing with a number of
historical examples where leaders were killed or attacked for
successfully standing up to the system. "That's right. They'll do it,"
Paul said, making reference with Alex Jones to upstarts like Andrew
Jackson, "The Kingfish" Huey Long, Bobby Kennedy, George Washington and
even George Wallace.
Estulin pointed out that his past predictions about global events were
very accurate because of the solid information provided to him from
within Bilderberg and the elite. Over 18 months ago Estulin correctly
made the call that the Iran war had been delayed and was probably off
the table, which is looking to be exactly the case after the release of
the recent National Intelligence Estimate. Estulin in featured at length
in Alex Jones' film Endgame, in which he is also filmed making the
prediction based on his sources.
Estulin said his sources were from within the intelligence community and
they were telling him that "the people of the highest levels of
government - not related in any way at least visually to George W. Bush
- the first initial conversation of what might happen if we were to do
this," has taken place.
"The Ron Paul phenomenon has galvanized an entire nation," said Estulin,
adding that both the people who discovered the plot and its potential
protagonists are terrified at the consequences of what such an action
will be because of the difficulty in judging just how severely the
general public will react.
Estulin said that the conspirators, which he described as a "small
circle of intimates," were discussing what the effect would be if
Congressman Paul was "removed" - they are being very careful to use the
word "remove" rather than more volatile terms, but Estulin was told
directly that "remove" was a euphemism for assassinate.
Estulin said he may be able to be more specific on exactly who is
discussing such an action in future, but warned that Ron Paul's staff
should be aware of the issue.
What are the odds there are people who would assassinate Ron Paul (or anyone they don't like) should they seem on the verge of becoming president?
Best-selling author and Bilderberg sleuth Daniel Estulin says he has
received information from sources inside the U.S. intelligence community
which suggests that people from the highest levels of the U.S.
government are considering an assassination attempt against Congressman
Ron Paul because they are threatened by his burgeoning popularity.
Estulin, whose information has unfortunately proven very accurate in the
past, went public with the bombshell news during an appearance on The
Alex Jones Show today.
"I am getting information from my sources that there are people involved
from a higher level of the American establishment who are seriously
considering - this has not been confirmed - but assassination is
definitely on the agenda and I pray to God that this is not the case,"
said Estulin.
Estulin, an award winning investigative journalist, said that he was
given the information from a source that has been reliable for over a
decade in providing accurate projections of future events based on what
the elite were discussing in their own circles and that assassination
was a serious option should the Ron Paul Revolution continue to pick up
steam.
Estulin, author of the global bestseller The True Story of the
Bilderberg Group described the concept as a "trial balloon from the
inner core within the inner core - it hasn't gone beyond that but it is
obviously on the table because I think needless to say they are very
much concerned," he added.
Ron Paul himself has stated on a previous occasion that he is aware of
the dangers of being such a bold icon for freedom and understands that
political assassinations have occured in the past.
In a June appearance on The Alex Jones Show, Congressman Paul
acknowledged that such a threat is "real," agreeing with a number of
historical examples where leaders were killed or attacked for
successfully standing up to the system. "That's right. They'll do it,"
Paul said, making reference with Alex Jones to upstarts like Andrew
Jackson, "The Kingfish" Huey Long, Bobby Kennedy, George Washington and
even George Wallace.
Estulin pointed out that his past predictions about global events were
very accurate because of the solid information provided to him from
within Bilderberg and the elite. Over 18 months ago Estulin correctly
made the call that the Iran war had been delayed and was probably off
the table, which is looking to be exactly the case after the release of
the recent National Intelligence Estimate. Estulin in featured at length
in Alex Jones' film Endgame, in which he is also filmed making the
prediction based on his sources.
Estulin said his sources were from within the intelligence community and
they were telling him that "the people of the highest levels of
government - not related in any way at least visually to George W. Bush
- the first initial conversation of what might happen if we were to do
this," has taken place.
"The Ron Paul phenomenon has galvanized an entire nation," said Estulin,
adding that both the people who discovered the plot and its potential
protagonists are terrified at the consequences of what such an action
will be because of the difficulty in judging just how severely the
general public will react.
Estulin said that the conspirators, which he described as a "small
circle of intimates," were discussing what the effect would be if
Congressman Paul was "removed" - they are being very careful to use the
word "remove" rather than more volatile terms, but Estulin was told
directly that "remove" was a euphemism for assassinate.
Estulin said he may be able to be more specific on exactly who is
discussing such an action in future, but warned that Ron Paul's staff
should be aware of the issue.
507
3DHS / The Professor Brothers
« on: December 24, 2007, 07:24:59 AM »
Deeply weird, but funny webtoons, guaranteed not like anything you have ever seen.
http://www.superdeluxe.com/static/pb/#
http://www.superdeluxe.com/static/pb/#
508
3DHS / Ten O'clock news rant
« on: December 23, 2007, 08:21:20 PM »
<Great writing from "best of Craigslist">
Have you ever been in one of those moods where you?re completely, utterly pissed off, but there?s no single reason? Just a million little things that decide to save themselves up for a good month and hit you all at once, but you happen to be in a completely intolerant mood to top it off?
Of course you have. You work in an office.
(note: I just spilled a juicy chunk of pineapple on my pants, which bounced off and hit my shoes for added effect before picking up half the lint on the floor)
Now don?t get me wrong, sure it could be worse. You could be a starving kid in a third world country, you could have cancer, a doberman could have bit your nuts off. Your keyboard could have arbitrarily decided to write over any corrections you make to a pointless rant instead of inserting them, making you have to type every sentence again. It doesn?t matter that you know how to fix it, because your computer has decided that it?s smarter than you today and will not let you. Your email that you just copied and pasted from an unformatted text document decided to triple space everything, put it in wingdings font, and turn it blue for the hell of it.
But hey, unlike this computer that thinks it?s a human in a pretentious abstract art school, we actually are human, and we?ve been granted the greatest gift of all: the gift of incessant bitching.
In the spirit of this incessant bitching, I?m picking an arbitrary rant out of the thousand things that have mildly bugged me in the last 24 hours: the local news.
Last night at about 7:00, a man with caps on his teeth and hair that looks like it should be stuck to the top of a Lego man informed me that it may or may not snow, and he?ll give me the answer at 10:00. This pixelated man looks me straight in the eyes from MY OWN TELEVISION that I paid for WITH MY OWN MONEY, this guy who?s salary I pay for by being exposed to Beyonce telling me to switch to cable (which I?m already on), and those horrible Jared commercials, the J.G. Wentworth guy, the seemingly innocent Money Tree caterpillars that are demons from the foulest pits of hell, charging 742% interest in states they can get away with it in (no exaggeration), and those awful credit score commercials. "I?m thinking of a number. Do you know what it is?"
Yes. I do know what it is. It?s 53,289, and it happens to be how many times it feels like you?ve inflicted your androgynous presence on this house.
But I digress. This hair helmet newscaster looks me right in the eyes and lies. He?s not going to tell me whether it?s going to snow at 10:00. Oh, no. That would be far too easy. He?s going to tell me at 10:00 what kind of pumpkin harvest farmer Joe had a month ago, and then he?s going to delve into some heavily biased politics, and then he?s going to tell me that he?ll reveal this magical snow secret after the commercial break.
Beyonce tells me to switch to cable again, having not heeded my prior notifications. J.G. Wentworth Guy asks me if my hope is starting to fade. Viagra people tell me that I?m a geriatric and can?t get a boner. I can only imagine what they tell women. Credit Score Guy asks me about number 53,290.
And then the news comes back on.
Bush, Iraq, pretty white girl hasn?t called parents in over six hours, "Snow may be on the way ? we?ll tell you how much to expect! After the commercial break."
Curse your scaly hide Beyonce! Fuck YOU, Credit Score Guy! (53,291) No, I do NOT need an artificially inflated piece of compressed carbon that is built on the blood of Africans and is controlled by a monopoly. Beyonce? AGAIN? TWICE? IN ONE BREAK? I finally understand that personality is genuinely more attractive than looks, because she has somehow transformed from this gorgeous vixen to a blood sucking chupucabra in a mere week. Is it really necessary to have four topless guys dancing in perfect synchronicity with her while she yet again stares me in the eyes and tries to sell me cable? And why does everyone have to stare me in the eyes when they?re trying to sell something? I pay about a hundred bucks a month for this lousy cable, and this is what they do with the profits?
It would appear that part of Dante?s Inferno was lost with time. He claimed that there are only nine circles of hell, relating to pagans, lust, gluttons, material good obsessions, sloth, heretics, the violent, fraudulent, and betrayers. Maybe it was due to an early translation, but what was missing is the lowest level of hell, reserved as a special place for those that appear twice in one commercial break.
The news comes back on. Clinton, Obama, Giuliani. Which one sucks the most? We?ll tell you tomorrow at ten.
And finally, at 10:55, sweet release: "It looks like it might snow tonight or tomorrow. Somewhere between zero and infinity inches." Apparently they've hired Captain Obvious to do the weather forecasting. "Thanks for watching your ten o?clock news, we?ll see you tomorrow night."
Oh no. No, you will not see me tomorrow night. You will not see me ever again, ten o?clock news. We?re officially broken up. Now pack your crap and get the hell out of here, and if you come within a hundred yards of me I?m calling the police. I?ve stolen everything that?s important to you and will incinerate it all tomorrow at 9:45. I?ll tell you where you can pick up the ashes at ten. Your signed poster of Tony Danza is yours to keep.
Have you ever been in one of those moods where you?re completely, utterly pissed off, but there?s no single reason? Just a million little things that decide to save themselves up for a good month and hit you all at once, but you happen to be in a completely intolerant mood to top it off?
Of course you have. You work in an office.
(note: I just spilled a juicy chunk of pineapple on my pants, which bounced off and hit my shoes for added effect before picking up half the lint on the floor)
Now don?t get me wrong, sure it could be worse. You could be a starving kid in a third world country, you could have cancer, a doberman could have bit your nuts off. Your keyboard could have arbitrarily decided to write over any corrections you make to a pointless rant instead of inserting them, making you have to type every sentence again. It doesn?t matter that you know how to fix it, because your computer has decided that it?s smarter than you today and will not let you. Your email that you just copied and pasted from an unformatted text document decided to triple space everything, put it in wingdings font, and turn it blue for the hell of it.
But hey, unlike this computer that thinks it?s a human in a pretentious abstract art school, we actually are human, and we?ve been granted the greatest gift of all: the gift of incessant bitching.
In the spirit of this incessant bitching, I?m picking an arbitrary rant out of the thousand things that have mildly bugged me in the last 24 hours: the local news.
Last night at about 7:00, a man with caps on his teeth and hair that looks like it should be stuck to the top of a Lego man informed me that it may or may not snow, and he?ll give me the answer at 10:00. This pixelated man looks me straight in the eyes from MY OWN TELEVISION that I paid for WITH MY OWN MONEY, this guy who?s salary I pay for by being exposed to Beyonce telling me to switch to cable (which I?m already on), and those horrible Jared commercials, the J.G. Wentworth guy, the seemingly innocent Money Tree caterpillars that are demons from the foulest pits of hell, charging 742% interest in states they can get away with it in (no exaggeration), and those awful credit score commercials. "I?m thinking of a number. Do you know what it is?"
Yes. I do know what it is. It?s 53,289, and it happens to be how many times it feels like you?ve inflicted your androgynous presence on this house.
But I digress. This hair helmet newscaster looks me right in the eyes and lies. He?s not going to tell me whether it?s going to snow at 10:00. Oh, no. That would be far too easy. He?s going to tell me at 10:00 what kind of pumpkin harvest farmer Joe had a month ago, and then he?s going to delve into some heavily biased politics, and then he?s going to tell me that he?ll reveal this magical snow secret after the commercial break.
Beyonce tells me to switch to cable again, having not heeded my prior notifications. J.G. Wentworth Guy asks me if my hope is starting to fade. Viagra people tell me that I?m a geriatric and can?t get a boner. I can only imagine what they tell women. Credit Score Guy asks me about number 53,290.
And then the news comes back on.
Bush, Iraq, pretty white girl hasn?t called parents in over six hours, "Snow may be on the way ? we?ll tell you how much to expect! After the commercial break."
Curse your scaly hide Beyonce! Fuck YOU, Credit Score Guy! (53,291) No, I do NOT need an artificially inflated piece of compressed carbon that is built on the blood of Africans and is controlled by a monopoly. Beyonce? AGAIN? TWICE? IN ONE BREAK? I finally understand that personality is genuinely more attractive than looks, because she has somehow transformed from this gorgeous vixen to a blood sucking chupucabra in a mere week. Is it really necessary to have four topless guys dancing in perfect synchronicity with her while she yet again stares me in the eyes and tries to sell me cable? And why does everyone have to stare me in the eyes when they?re trying to sell something? I pay about a hundred bucks a month for this lousy cable, and this is what they do with the profits?
It would appear that part of Dante?s Inferno was lost with time. He claimed that there are only nine circles of hell, relating to pagans, lust, gluttons, material good obsessions, sloth, heretics, the violent, fraudulent, and betrayers. Maybe it was due to an early translation, but what was missing is the lowest level of hell, reserved as a special place for those that appear twice in one commercial break.
The news comes back on. Clinton, Obama, Giuliani. Which one sucks the most? We?ll tell you tomorrow at ten.
And finally, at 10:55, sweet release: "It looks like it might snow tonight or tomorrow. Somewhere between zero and infinity inches." Apparently they've hired Captain Obvious to do the weather forecasting. "Thanks for watching your ten o?clock news, we?ll see you tomorrow night."
Oh no. No, you will not see me tomorrow night. You will not see me ever again, ten o?clock news. We?re officially broken up. Now pack your crap and get the hell out of here, and if you come within a hundred yards of me I?m calling the police. I?ve stolen everything that?s important to you and will incinerate it all tomorrow at 9:45. I?ll tell you where you can pick up the ashes at ten. Your signed poster of Tony Danza is yours to keep.
509
Here's how to build the antenna for peanuts.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/762088/coat_hanger_hdtv_antenna_better_than_store_bought_amazing.
This will work fine with a standard 3X4 TV if you have an HDTV converter or a DVD or VHS playerwith an HDTV built in.
No cable, no dish required. FREE. Always my favorite price.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/762088/coat_hanger_hdtv_antenna_better_than_store_bought_amazing.
This will work fine with a standard 3X4 TV if you have an HDTV converter or a DVD or VHS playerwith an HDTV built in.
No cable, no dish required. FREE. Always my favorite price.
510
3DHS / Bollywood meets Monty Python
« on: December 19, 2007, 08:14:48 AM »
Complete with strange subtitles, and a cast of hundreds.
Difficult to believe, impossible to explain. But entertaining.
http://www.omgvids.com/indian.php
Difficult to believe, impossible to explain. But entertaining.
http://www.omgvids.com/indian.php