Moving Forward Towards a New Destiny

[_JS]

I'd like to take the time to make a proposal. Please hear me out before responding.

We need to rid ourselves of this expensive and time consuming election process. It is completely unfair to assume one man (or woman) = one vote. Why? Does anyone run a business that way? I didn't think so. Elections are an unethical waste of time and money. Strike them, they're gone.

We also need to be rid of the office of the President and those ridiculous cabinet posts. Secretary of Education? Health and Human Services? Defense? What is that garbage?

And what is this ancient document that we are bound by? We can put "founded in 1776" in our ads. We need new vision statements, new mission goals. We cannot be bound by text written by people who used the word 'Congrefs.'

Therefore, I propose the following:

1. The United States of America is a worn-out and somewhat disliked (from a global marketing view) brand name. I propose America Corp. I thought about USA Ltd., but that sounds like we're trying too hard for the younger demographic. America Corp projects strength, determination, and the will of a tough group of people.

2. America Corp will offer stocks (formerly known as Treasury Bonds) to the public, with a discounted rate to those who are most affected by America Corp policies. In other words, those with the highest income brackets will have the first options on the discounted America Corp stocks. Hedge Funds and Mutual Funds will be prohibited from purchasing these stocks.

3. Once the stocks are sold an election will be held. Now votes can be apportioned in a just way. Votes will be counted based on one's stock ownership in America Corp. The more stock one owns, the more votes one is allowed to allocate in any way the individual sees fit.

4. The election will result in a CEO of America Corp being chosen with a plurality of votes. The CEO may choose as many Vice Presidents as he (or she) deems necessary for the operation of America Corp. He will only legally be bound to select the following:

Chief Financial Officer
Chief Operations Officer
Vice President of Marketing
Vice President of Asset Protection
Vice President of Acquisitions
Chief Visionary Officer
Chief Information Officer
Chief Data Officer
Chief Information Security Officer

These individuals will be charged with the duties of running a profitable organization and developing America Corp to its fullest capacity as the premier National Government Company (NGC) in the World!

They, and they alone, will take the powers that were once inefficiently held by the Federal Executive, Federal Judicial, Federal Legislative branches as well as the redundant branches represented in 50 states. All of this inefficiency will be removed and replaced with one private sector company that will dedicate itself to creating a superior market environment for all businesses.

5. Lawsuits against Microsoft and any other such daft policies will be certain to be relics of a past era.

6. If a policy, program, or publicly held interest is not profitable it will be terminated (with exceptions for venture capitalism of course).

7. Washington will no longer be the nation's capital. We will take competetive bids and sign contracts for varying durations on where the capital is located.

8. All public services will be fully privatized.

9. Local governments will no longer be necessary, but instead run by branch offices of America Corp.

10. Please contact your local America Corp representative if you have any questions. We're here to help you!

[Lanya]

This is reminding me of a book called "Jennifer Government." 
http://maxbarry.com/jennifergovernment/

[Universe Prince]

Cute, JS.

[hnumpah]

10. Please contact your local America Corp representative if you have any questions. We're here to help you!

Only after you press '1' for English, '2' for Spanish, etc, and listen to interminable selections and instructions, invariably ending in "To return to the main menu, press zero..."

[Brassmask]

Sounds like something right out of the RNC Handbook.

 

[sirs]

While that bogus implication comes right out of the DNC handbook.  Kinda reminds me of a mock debate, moderated by a CNN fella.  Asks the Dem what he thought one of the worst problems America faces, and the Dem goes into a hyperbolic rant of how his opponent is the worst problem America faces and how he even believes in aliens.  The moderator then calmy turns to the Republican, and asks "so how long have you believed in aliens?"

[Xavier_Onassis]

The zillionaire oilman H.L. Hunt proposed something very like this in a book called "Alpaca", about some mythical South American nation in which the more money an individual had,the more votes he would get.

I recall going into a rightwing bookstore in Kansas City and asking for it, and the lady told me in a whisper that the government had banned it.

Then I checked it out of the public library. Back in those days, you could tell how many others had checked it out.

I was the first in three years it had sat on the shelf.
H.L. should have stuck to his oil. He was a terrible writer.
The Hunts (H.L.'s sons and grandkids) own the Worlds of Fun Amusement Park N. of Kansas City, and under it is the largest underground warehouse in the world, in an old limestone quarry. The Mormons used to have a backup of their hardcopy records there. It seems to have a fairly constant temperature and is very dry, they say.

[Brassmask]

H.L. should have stuck to his oil. He was a terrible writer.

He was also very good at funding presidential assassinations.

[sirs]

I recall going into a rightwing bookstore in Kansas City and asking for it, and the lady told me in a whisper that the government had banned it.

ahem....a rightwing bookstore?  I looked in the phone book, and found nothing under rightwing, nor any subsection in the bookstore listings.  Care to qualify what made this bookstore a rightwing bookstore??  Had they not banned any book written by Ann Coulter??  Or perhaps they had on sale, a pocket version of the Constitution & Bill of Rights??  Gads, perish that thought