Hillary is not physically fit to be President!

[kimba1]

last year I would of said i`m willing to marry again but lately I`ve seen more marital/ relationship problems than ever before and now I`m not too sure anymore. Ironic thing is mainly married folks are nudging me to marry but those that do don`t exactly have a ideal union. some wouild accuse me of fearing commitment and I just can`t feel bad about that.

[Xavier_Onassis]

If you have no desire to have children, marriage is not worth the bother, in my opinion.

[kimba1]

children yes but so far I`ve yet met someone I`m confident to provide a decent life for the child. basicly saying very few make the cut.

[Xavier_Onassis]

You mean you have yet to meet her, I assume.

I think that a child is better off with two parents than with one, but that assumes they are not fighting all the time and are both sane.

A very wise man said "Never marry anyone that has more problems than you do".  Good advice, but rather hard to follow.

[sirs]

Sound wisdom

[Plane]

  Although it sounds like something to seriously consider , good food for thought, etc.

   Isn't it practically impossible to pair off with everyone having matching levels of problem?

[Xavier_Onassis]

I think his idea was to marry someone with D=FEWER problems or the same amount of problems.

He was the owner of a major real estate company and a president of my Mercedes Benz club.

When he died, there were at least 500 cars at his funeral. Everybody loved the guy.

[Plane]

If you marry someone who has fewer problems, then you are marrying someone who did not heed this advice.

Which makes this advice a paradox , thus excellent food for thought.

[kimba1]

I have very simple needs. I'd like someone whose 4'10" born in thailand but is of ethnic chinese bacground. Went to college majored in psychology but didn't graduate. Does not dress fashionably but does dress very well. Can't speak chinese at all but does speak the rare dialect her family speaks. Never had a low paying job always had good paying jobs. Can't say a joke to save her life but knows whats funny. 

I don't have anyone in mind  of course

[Xavier_Onassis]

You might have better luck hunting in Thailand.

That sounds like a rather hard to find person.  Thais tend to be short, but 4'10" is unusually short.
Relations in which both people do not understand the language of the other are really difficult.
You can get into fights about making salads that really involve a broken shoelace.

[kimba1]

I'm actually desribing a oerson i used to work with and use her discription to answer people who Always ask what I'm looking for. She's the modt distinct person I know

[Xavier_Onassis]

I fail to see a paradox.


The recommendation is never marry someone with MORE problems than you have.

So let us say that you have P ±0 problems.
You should marry someone that also has 0± problems, or someone that has P-1 or more problems.
You should avoid anyone with P +1 or more problems.

Of course problems tend to be unique. Someone with a $100,000 college loan in a community property state would surely be a bigger problem than someone who has a slight speech impediment  or parents who force you to play pinochle with them every Christmas.

There is no comparative absolute guide to the dimension of personal problems.

[kimba1]

It's more about types and degree of problems. High debt girl will need to marry a wealthy man. Ex. Anna nicole smith.

But personality is a unpredictable factor. We put our best behaviour on our dates. It's a month in the marraige when you know who eats with the mouth opens and the real drama happens

[Xavier_Onassis]

Not getting married means that that month does not come.

Marriage is clearly a great idea for some people, and permanent marriage to the same person is a great idea for a smaller number of people.

It is a false assumption that any sort of marriage is for everyone.

It is a false assumption that two people staying married to each other, in a situation in which there is anything close to equality between them, is going to work out even two-thirds of the time.

[Plane]

I fail to see a paradox.

Hehe

Your friend has given you a package that you have not unwrapped all the way.

If you follow his advice literally , and marriage candidates for you were strictly p=p or P-1 you would only be able to marry exact matches or people who disregarded the advice you  were following.

So I consider his advice good because it is like a Koan , makes one think, not good as literal instruction.