Bill Maher in Hufpo - Hilarious AND Right On!

[Michael Tee]

Posted: March 26, 2010 05:36 PM

New Rule: You Can't Use "There Will Be No Cooperation for the Rest of the Year" as a Threat If There Was No Cooperation in the First Half of the Year


<<New Rule: You can't use the statement "there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year" as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here's a word the president should take out of his teleprompter: bipartisanship. People only care about that in theory, not in practice. The best thing that's happened this year is when President Obama finally realized this and said, "Kiss my black ass, we're going it alone, George W. Bush style."

<<Two months ago, conservative Fred Barnes wrote, "The health care bill is dead with not the slightest prospect of resurrection." Well, if it's dead, you just got your ass kicked by a zombie named Nancy Pelosi. Seriously, the last time a Democrat showed balls like that John Edwards' girlfriend was filming it. Make all the botox jokes and she-shops-too-much jokes you want, but this is the biggest political victory a woman has ever achieved in America. Yes, Nancy Pelosi likes nice clothes. So does Sarah Palin. The difference is Nancy Pelosi pays for hers.

<<But even before the Democrats got to take a single victory lap they were already being warned not to get used to the feeling, and not to get drunk with power. I disagree. All you Democrats: do a shot, and then do another. Get drunk on this feeling of not backing down and doing what you came to Washington to do.

<<Democrats should not listen to the people who are now saying they shouldn't attempt anything else big for a while because health care was such a bruising battle. Wrong -- because I learned something watching the lying bullies of the Right lose this one: when they're losing, they squeal like a pig. They kept saying things like, the bill was being "shoved down our throats" or the Democrats were "ramming it through." The bill was so big they couldn't take it all at once!

<<And I realized listening to this rhetoric that it reminded me of something: Tiger Woods' text messages to his mistress that were made public last week, where he said, and I quote, "I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you and make you sore. I want to hold you down and choke you while I fuck that ass that I own. Then I'm going to tell you to shut the fuck up while I slap your face and pull your hair for making noise." Unquote.>>

[Not only hilarious in its own right, but doubly so when some members of this NG accused ME of sexism and disrespecting women.  Moi.  Go figger.  It's amazing how these anti-choice conservatives suddenly can become so "politically correct" over the most trivial provocations, isn't it?]

<<And this, I believe, perfectly represents the attitude Democrats should now have in their dealings with the Republican Party: "Shut the fuck up while I slap your face for making noise -- now pass a cap-and-trade law, you stupid bitch, and repeat after me: 'global warming is real!'"

<<The Democrats need to push the rest of their agenda while their boot is on the neck of the greedy, poisonous old reptile. Who cares if a cap-and-trade bill isn't popular, neither was health care. Your poll numbers may have descended a bit, but so did your testicles.

<<So don't stop: we need to regulate the banks, we need to overhaul immigration, we need to end corporate welfare including at the Pentagon, we need to bring troops home from... everywhere, we need to end the drug war, and we need to put terrorists and other human rights violators on trial in civilian courts, starting with Dick Cheney.

<<Democrats in America were put on earth to do one thing: drag the ignorant hillbilly half of this country into the next century, which in their case is the 19th -- and by passing health care, the Democrats saved their brand. A few months ago, Sarah Palin mockingly asked them, "How's that hopey-changey thing working out for ya?" Great, actually. Thanks for asking. And how's that whole Hooked on Phonics thing working out for you? >>

Bill Maher, you are a-MAAAAAY-zing.

[Universe Prince]

Bill Maher in Hufpo -  Hilarious AND Right On!

Yes, advocating the subversion of the republican (little 'r') government (not to mention the Constitution) and the advancement of fully authoritarian single party rule is so (not really) funny. Though I am not the least bit surprised that Michael Tee--who is convinced Republicans are horrible for claiming to speak for the American people--thinks this aggressive authoritarianism is a great thing.

Not only hilarious in its own right, but doubly so when some members of this NG accused ME of sexism and disrespecting women.  Moi.   Go figger.

If you talk about women the way you talk about black people, the notion that you are guilty of sexism and disrespecting women is not at all difficult to accept.

Bill Maher, you are a-MAAAAAY-zing.

Yeah. Amazingly ridiculous.

[Xavier_Onassis]

The thing is, if you have the votes, you have the votes. Forget the stupid Republicans. They said at the outset that their goal was to destroy Obama.

I think we can count on Obama not to start another useless war like Juniorbush did. But is was great that they finally passed this, after all those years.

[Kramer]

The thing is, if you have the votes, you have the votes. Forget the stupid Republicans. They said at the outset that their goal was to destroy Obama.

I think we can count on Obama not to start another useless war like Juniorbush did. But is was great that they finally passed this, after all those years.

you, mike & bill are three warped amigos

[BT]

The thing is, if you have the votes, you have the votes.

That counts today and it counts next January.

[Michael Tee]

<<you, mike & bill are three warped amigos >>

So now if you DON'T start a war based on a pack of fucking lies, waste at least $3 trill of the public's money on it, get about 4,000 Americans and up to a million Arabs killed in it, and bring back the practice of torture while doing so, then you are "warped," according to Kramer.

Kramer, with all due respect, your ideas of what is "warped" or "normal" are of very little use to anyone, least of all thank  God to the psychiatric profession; if by some billion-to-one chance a panel of psychiatric experts ever should find that people who think like you or your former "President" are sane, then that would make guys like Ted Bundy  "normal," and personally I myself would hope to be designated crazy, or as you would put it, "warped."   So thanks for the compliment.

[Plane]

Bill, Bill, Bill.....

There you go again.

The opposition to the health are bill was where all of the Bipartizen went .

The frankenbill has become monsterlaw and it is entirely Democrat product , there will not be any stepping out from under it when it lands.

The enforcement of this sow is going to make its authors popular?

Hehehehe..., hardly!

I just hope that the binge is over, nothing prevents the Democrats frrom doing it again ,......perhaps we should build pyramids now?

[Kramer]

<<you, mike & bill are three warped amigos >>

So now if you DON'T start a war based on a pack of fucking lies, waste at least $3 trill of the public's money on it, get about 4,000 Americans and up to a million Arabs killed in it, and bring back the practice of torture while doing so, then you are "warped," according to Kramer.

Kramer, with all due respect, your ideas of what is "warped" or "normal" are of very little use to anyone, least of all thank  God to the psychiatric profession; if by some billion-to-one chance a panel of psychiatric experts ever should find that people who think like you or your former "President" are sane, then that would make guys like Ted Bundy  "normal," and personally I myself would hope to be designated crazy, or as you would put it, "warped."   So thanks for the compliment.

Here's the major flaw in your stupid theory --- the psychiatric profession has screwed more people up than they ever fixed and worse it's filled with more mentally ill people than any other profession on earth other than the US Congress. What do you call 100 psychiatrists chained together and dropped to the bottom of the ocean? -- A good start!

[Xavier_Onassis]

Kramer refutes an entire profession with a dumb comment and an unfunny joke.

[Christians4LessGvt]

I'm sure both these pals would be welcome to speak at the University of Ottawa!

[Michael Tee]

<<Kramer refutes an entire profession with a dumb comment and an unfunny joke.>>

The joke is indeed old and unfunny.  Usually it's told on lawyers, but I guess any profession which requires intensive education, high standards of entrance and performance, and is way too smart to embrace Kramer's rather primitive and irrational beliefs, could be made a target by it.  Hnyuk, hnyuk, hnyuk.

[Kramer]

<<Kramer refutes an entire profession with a dumb comment and an unfunny joke.>>

The joke is indeed old and unfunny.  Usually it's told on lawyers, but I guess any profession which requires intensive education, high standards of entrance and performance, and is way to smart to embrace Kramer's rather primitive and irrational beliefs, could be made a target by it.  Hnyuk, hnyuk, hnyuk.

Let me put it to you this way -- we have Harvard, Yale, Stanford, MIT, etc Ivy School educated Wall-streaters, CEO's, presidents, congressman, police chiefs, 5 star generals and admirals yet THEY royally fucked up just about everything from finance to national security in this great country.

I say let's dump the so-called educated people and put in small business owners, plumbers and electricians, nurses, janitors, ditch diggers, Chief Petty Officers, etc. I want people running my country that went to Hard Knocks not Harvard. People that haven't been brainwashed by elite communist professors or leftist Marxist socialist teachers. Then you will see great things happen. If you can't grasp that point then you are pretty stupid. Let's face it that is the same principal used by many communist nations when they had their revolutions. My twist is use the workers in conjunction with opportunity, prosperity & capitalism not oppress them and hold them back.

[Xavier_Onassis]

Yeah, we need Joe the Notquiteaplumber and yahoos like Kramer running the show.
What was the term H.L. Mencken used? Boobocracy!

[Kramer]

Yeah, we need Joe the Notquiteaplumber and yahoos like Kramer running the show.
What was the term H.L. Mencken used? Boobocracy!

of course not let's just keep going the way things are since they are just working out so well. you are a real fucking moron fool.

[Michael Tee]

<<Let me put it to you this way -- we have Harvard, Yale, Stanford, MIT, etc Ivy School educated Wall-streaters, CEO's, presidents, congressman, police chiefs, 5 star generals and admirals yet THEY royally fucked up just about everything from finance to national security in this great country.>>

Geeze, Kramer, sounds like you've been reading David Halberstam's The Best and the Brightest.  Good for you!   I will agree with you.  An Ivy League university education and top-of-the-class standing are no guarantee against incredibly stupid and disastrous policies.  Good point.

<<I say let's dump the so-called educated people and put in small business owners, plumbers and electricians, nurses, janitors, ditch diggers, Chief Petty Officers, etc. >>

Let me put it this way.  Suppose you were coaching a football team and you were putting in the meanest, biggest, strongest linebackers and defensive linemen you could find, but other teams were still breaking through your defence.  Would you conclude, "Let's dump all these big, strong, tough guys and replace them  with 120-lb. weaklings, elderly accountants and high-school cheerleaders?"   If smart guys are fucking up, the solution isn't to replace them with dumb guys, it's to analyze the failures, see where they fucked up and revise the strategy accordingly.

<<I want people running my country that went to Hard Knocks not Harvard. >>

Where do you expect to find these guys?  Who are they?  Sounds to me now like you'd want guys like Evo Morales and Hugo Chavez, the Presidents of Bolivia and Venezuela, running your country, but can that be right?  Actually, Josef Stalin would probably fit your job description to a T.  I think it's hilarious, if you ever met a true son of the working class running for the Presidency, you'd undoubtedly run as fast as your legs could carry you in the opposite direction.

<<People that haven't been brainwashed by elite communist professors or leftist Marxist socialist teachers. >>

Apart from Obama, what other Presidents do you think were "brainwashed by elite communist professors or leftist Marxist socialist teachers," and who do you think were the profs and teachers who did the brainwashing?

Here's another question for you:  do you think that the students of either great or obscure institutions of learning should be sheltered from the views of communist professors or leftist Marxists?  Do you think those POVs should be rigorously excluded from all teaching faculties?

<<Then you will see great things happen. >>

Well, Sarah Palin sure sounds like one of those fucking morons that you are describing.  Nobody will ever accuse her of having been educated at an elite and prestigious university.  How would "great things happen" if she were elected President?  What "great things" happened in Alaska during her suddenly-curtailed term as Governor?

<<If you can't grasp that point then you are pretty stupid. >>

Excuse me?  Moi, stupid?  Aow, Kramer, you really know how to hurt a guy.

<<Let's face it that is the same principal used by many communist nations when they had their revolutions. >>

You realize, of course, that both Lenin and Fidel Castro were lawyers, don't you?

<<My twist is use the workers in conjunction with opportunity, prosperity & capitalism not oppress them and hold them back.>>

Well, then if I were in your shoes, I'd be pretty damn careful which workers you select, because most workers in most industries are pretty well fucked over by their capitalist employers, and if they're not total fucking idiots, have a very good idea how the system works, who exactly is exploiting them, and how it's done.    I'm not all that sure that those are the guys you'd want to be running your little capitalist paradise.